Gender and the Military

For two years, I dated a man in the US Marine Corps. I had known him prior to his enlistment when he was a wreckless boy who barely graduated high school. When I saw him again after he finished boot camp, I could tell that the military made him into a "man," something they told him they would do. For the years we were together, his only outlet for emotions was talking to me. At work, which was a mechanics shop for him, he was in charge and had to be tough, emotionless, and the "man" that the USMC built him to be. I am not at all saying this was a bad thing; the military turned him into a caring, compassionate, driven human being. It showed him that he can do anything if he puts his mind to it and commits. However, I do think that at times this overwhelming need to "be a man" caused issues. Slang and demeaning words fly out of the mouths of my ex and his buddies; they constantly were calling each other girls, fags, gay, or insinuating that they are anything but the manly man they are supposed to be. I remember asking him why they always said that and what would happen if one of them actually WAS gay. He said that even if one of them were, they were never come out of the closet because it would ruin their career in the military. He went on to explain how men wouldn't feel comfortable with gay men in tight living arrangements, such as they have in combat situations. They shower together, change together, sleep together. He said it would be awkward if they knew that the guy next to them in the shower is homosexual. This is similar to one of the reasons why some military men feel uncomfortable with women in combat zones; the living arrangements get awkward. These are all congruent with the statements made in Melissa Trible's article.

Spouses in the military also are different. I used to watch this show called Army Wives which was a series that followed a group of spouses of soldiers in the Army. They were fictional characters, but it was as true to the real lives of military spouses as a show can get. In the group was a handful of wives and one husband, who's wife was a high ranking officer. The dynamics and differences between the roles were interesting. Sometimes, the solider's husband was looked down upon and told that his wife "wears the pants" in their relationship. The wives of soldiers were often referred to as trophies, since they seemed to just accompany their husbands to fancy events. I think this must hold true in real life; military husbands probably deal with masculinity problems at first, or at least face people who think they should feel demasculinated. 

When it comes to the media, I think there is only one way that male military men are portrayed: tough, strong, brave, resilient. When a male solider is presented any other way, it is a serious sign of disrespect. Women soldiers, on the other hand, I think can be presented in multiple ways. There are times when females in the military are also presented as tough, strong, and brave. However, there are also times when these strong women are viewed as "dominating," "lesbian," or "butch." The power of a woman in the military is intimidating, and not always absorbed well by others. There is also another way females in the military are portrayed: like they do not belong there. Females in the military are often said to not be able to do the same things the men can do, or not as well at least. Since they are women, they must be delicate and girly like the girls who dress up as soliders for Halloween. This is far from the truth; although there are physical differences between the capabilities of men and women, there are some women who are stronger than some men. I think the media has made progress in their support and representations of females in the military, but there is always room for improvement.